Let the Haunting Begin!

Welcome to my own personal blog! This one's not so much about classical art, but art is definitely a factor.
My name is Lii, short for LinneaKou, and I have a crazy, insatiable interest in the paranormal and the occult, which is why I named this blog as such.
I would love to start ghost-hunting, but being a college student means I'm both broke and without time to do so, and I need all the sleep I can get! However, I do believe one day I'll be able to do so eventually.
I don't fear the unseen. I chase it! Join me?

Fear is...

Beyond the realm of the seen lies the world of spirit. There are both good and evil beings in this realm - and sometimes, they reveal themselves to us...

Sunday, August 29, 2010

TLA rant - the Racebending issue



Last time I gave you a background on Avatar: The Last Airbender and its movie adaptation. So today I'm going to talk about one of my biggest issues with the movie, and the reason why I refused to see it in theaters. (I'm not telling *how* I saw it, but let's just say that I refuse to pay Paramount for this travesty.)

Oh yes. The Racebending.

What is Racebending? It's a play on the term for the "magic" aspect of A:TLA - the "bending" being manipulation of a particular element. "Racebending" is a term adopted to mean
situations where A) A movie studio/publisher, etc. has changed the ethnicity of a character B) with a resultant discriminatory impact on an underrepresented cultural community and actors from that community (reinforcement of glass ceilings, loss of opportunity, etc.) (term and definition from Racebending.com's FAQ page)


And let me just say, that pretty much sums up the "racelift" that happened in The Last Airbender.

In order to understand the way that the movie staff mishandled the culture, let me continue to monologue on the influences of the show.

First off, the Asian and Inuit influences are as obvious as the nose on my face - and I have Spanish blood in me, so my nose is pretty huge. Everything in the Avatar world, from the architecture to the clothes to the food and the chopsticks, is Asian-inspired. All the writing is in authentic traditional Chinese calligraphy; all the bending of the show is based off of real-world martial arts; the concept of the Avatar is based both in Hindu mythology - that a god would descend to the Earth in the form of a human in order to restore balance - and in the mysticism surrounding the Tibetian Buddhist belief of the great Lamas (for instance, the Dalai Lama - for whom both Monk Gyatso and Tenzin, son of Katara and Aang, are named).

Now, to go into even more detail.

Let's start off with the Fire Nation, which is home and origin of maybe 90% of the antagonists of the show. Fire Lord Ozai, Prince Zuko, Princess Azula, General Iroh, and Admiral Zhao hail from this militaristic volcanic archipelago. (Gee, does that sound like something from the real world...?) The Fire Nation is strongly based off of two different real-world nations: Imperial China and Imperial Japan. It's almost painfully obvious. For starters, the architecture of Yellow Crane Tower inspired the curled-up roof corners of Fire Nation buildings. The dragon and phoenix motifs that appear throughout the Fire Nation's cultural exhibits, the Fire Lord's throne room, and the palace are reminiscent of Chinese mythology. Early designs of Prince Zuko show that he was decked out in armor based off of that of Japanese samurai, complete with the flared helmet. Their firebending is based off of Northern Shaolin. And for crying out loud, even though the show's art style is based off of Japanese and Korean animation, the Fire Nation characters look the most Asian out of the entire cast.

Next are the Air Nomads. It is painfully obvious yet again that Bryan and Mike were inspired by actual people when it came to the airbenders. The real-world basis of these elements of design are Tibetan monks, Buddhist monks, and Shaolin monks, and it is evident down to the shaved heads, wooden prayer beads, and yellow-and-orange robes. The outfit that Aang wears in the third season is heavily reminiscent of Shaolin monks' outfits. Their bending is based off of Ba Gua.

The Earth Kingdom is a mix of several Asian cultures, the most prominent being once again Japan and China. However, the designers did throw in a few more as well - Korea, for example. Don't believe me? Take a look at Song and her mother, from "The Cave of Two Lovers" (look on the right)





The design of their clothes is pretty much stitch-for-stitch based off of the traditional Korean hanbok. Other than that little tidbit, there's the island of Kiyoshi - a fishing port with female warriors who keep the peace while fighting with giant metal fans and wearing Kibuki makeup (*ahem* JAPAN.) Ba Sing Se is pretty much a city that was scooped out of ancient Chinese history. I kid you not, the outer wall of Ba Sing Se was inspired by the Great Wall of China. The Earth King's palace was based off of the Forbidden City, and Earth King Kuei looks like what I figure the Last Emperor would have looked like if I'd seen him grown up. That, and there are random Earth Kingdom towns throughout the first two seasons that show multiple characters who look like they were yoinked from Disney's Mulan. Earthbending is based off of Hung Gar, with the exception of Toph's unique style, which is inspired by Chu Gar Southern Praying Mantis style.

Finally, the Water Tribe. This one is a tricky one to argue, mostly because the Water Tribe is pretty much based on the Inuit people, with bits and pieces of their culture yoinked from aboriginal American cultures (i.e. the weapons and canvas huts). Technically, they're not Asian. At least, not ~Far East Oriental~ Pacific Rim Asian (you guys can't see it right now, but I totally just did a whoo-whoo thing with my hands there.) But that doesn't mean what we can cast a bunch of white kids to play the Water Tribe siblings. You see, I have a theory that has a lot to do with anthropology and stuff, so I'll try and simplify it as best as I can.

First off, we have the Behring Strait. Popular scientific belief holds it that back in the days of the hunting and gathering nomads, there used to be a natural land bridge between the north-easternmost tip of the Eurasian continent and the north-westernmost tip of the North American continent. A bunch of ancient Mongolian/Chinese nomads crossed that land strip into the Americas and over time migrated southwards, which is why aboriginal American people are classified as "Mongloid" in anthropological terms (people of European descent are classified as "Caucasoids" and people of African and Oceania origins are classified as "Negroid". Oddly enough, middle Easterners and Indian people are classified as Caucasoid mostly due to their physical builds and facial features.) Therefore, despite the Inuit culture not being a Pacific Rim culture, they are still Asiatic in origin. Make sense?

To compound my argument, let me rattle of a list of things that are quite obviously Inuit/aboriginal American. Ahem. The Southern Water Tribe village; Sokka's small armory of weapons; the Water Tribe boats; their names; their clothing; their fish-filled diet; their marriage customs; their social structure with a chief at the top; Sokka's "warrior wolf's tail" hairstyle, and Katara's hair loopies. I kid you not, but unfortunately after half an hour of searching I have yet to come up with the actual name for them. However, I bring you... WORD OF GOD (this is for you, my Troper friends!)

Bryan: Actually, Katara’s, like, hair loops‌
Mike: The hair loopies‌
Bryan: They used to hang down, just loosely, and Young Ki thought that would be too hard to animate, and thought they’d be moving around too much, so, he had the idea to tie them back, which actually ended up being an authentic Inuit hair style.
(source: AvatarSpirit.net's transcription of the pilot commentary)




Finally, the waterbending is based off of T'ai Chi, the last of the Chinese wushu (martial arts) used in the show.

So there you have it. The world of Avatar is pretty consistently Asian/Asiatic or pan-Asian at the least. And Bryan, Mike, and the folks who worked on this show went above and beyond the call of duty - they hired at least three consultants (Sifu Kisu - martial arts; Dr. Siu-Leung Lee - calligraphy; Edwin Zane - culture) to keep things from getting hammy and unauthentic.

Now, onto the movie. (And I promise that I'm nearly done)

For the most part, the three heroes are cast as Caucasian. Actually, according to my book on anthropology, Dev Patel (an Indian actor known for starring in Slumdog Millionaire, who played Zuko) is technically Caucasoid-featured, despite the fact that he is of Indian (and somewhat by default, Asian) origin.

There are several problems with the casting of this movie - one being the merit and ability of the actors themselves, and one being the underlying implications of race in the casting. The merit of the actors is an issue I will address next week. However, let me state the cultural impact that this casting could cause.

First off, I'm not Asian. I'm Hispanic. But even I was enchanted and encouraged by the portrayal of Asian and Inuit characters as real protagonists, and not just the "Kung-fu master", the "Chinese food delivery boy", and the "broken-English speaking old dude". These were real characters that just happened to be Asian and Inuit. Sure, their cultural roots were an important aspect of their lives, but they were able to transcend that cultural barrier and touch the lives of countless kids of all races. It was heartening for me to see that.

And then the casting came out.



To say the least, I crapped kittens.

More and more news came out as I started obsessively checking out Racebending.com and looking over their gathered information. When I discovered that the casting requested "Caucasian or any other ethnicity" on their search for actors to play the leads, I was infuriated.

And then M. Night Shyamalan claimed that the style of the show, being anime, was so ambiguous, Aang and the others could have been anything... that this movie would be even more diverse than the show... and that he picked the best actors for the roles.



OBJECTION.

First off, anime as a syle is not ambiguous. The default race in anime is Asian, being Asian in origin. If an animator working on a Japanese anime wanted to portray a character as being something other than Japanese, he or she would make it very clear that the character in question was not Japanese. Take for example Shampoo in Ranma 1/2. She usually appeared dressed in Chinese-style clothes and speaking in broken Japanese (or English in the dub). Another good example is Mobile Suit Gundam 00, which features characters from around the world. While Japanese animators often employ stylistic ways of telling the races apart (overemphasizing big noses, lips, and other slightly stereotypical ways of distinguishing someone of Caucasoid or Negroid descent) the designers involved in 00 made it clear through names, mannerisms, and small features such as skin color and hair type to differentiate the characters from each other.

While we're on the subject of stylistic elements from anime, another argument for Aang's true race is that his eyes are too big for him to be Asian. What, were we expecting for him to look something like this?



Well, that is American-style animation. In Japanese or generally Asian-style animation, big, wide eyes are used to express a childish innocence.



Besides, it should have been obvious from the use of kung fu, the presence of Buddhist-like beliefs, the architecture, the chopsticks the... aw, you get it. Aang ain't white.

And neither are Katara and Sokka. Besides the Guru Pathik, they along with the other Water Tribe members are the darkest-skinned characters in the cast. And they cast a guy who plays a VAMPIRE to play Sokka.



Another argument pro-casters have been using is that the characters have eye colors of blue, gray, green, and orange, and thus can't possibly be anything but Caucasian. Um, lighter eye colors aren't exclusive to Caucasian people. In fact, light eye colors are caused by recessive genes. So someone with dark eyes may carry a light eye color gene, but it isn't shown be cause the dominant gene is that of a darker eye color. When a child with two recessive genes in that pair is born, he or she will have light eyes. It's basic genetics. Besides, Bryke used the differently colored eyes to differentiate the elemental alignment of the characters (i.e. blue = water, green = earth, gray = air, and orange = fire). So that argument is null.

Another pro-caster arguement: But the Water Tribes live at the poles of this world! How can they have dark skin??



OH GEE I DON'T KNOW. It turns out that the Inuit and First Nation people probably started out as dark-skinned. Due to the fact that they consumed a lot of fish in their diet, they got enough vitamin D from their food so that they didn't need to evolve to be lighter skinned in order to absorb more sunlight.

Another one: But Shyamalan cast Dev Patel to play Zuko! That's not racist.

Oh yeah. Casting the darker-skinned people to play the bad guys isn't racist at all.

Another one: Well, the background characters are people of different races.

Right. And the lead good guys are white, which is another classic case of "righteous white kids leading a non-Caucasian nation out of oppression while fighting swarthy bad guys". Reeeeaaaaally original.

It makes no sense whatsoever to cast white kids to play the leads. Shyamalan reasoned that the Norther Water Tribe was probably Russian, which accounted for Katara and Sokka's paleness.



The Water Tribes are descended from the SAME PEOPLE. And for the love of all things good and pure, look at the animation! The Northern Water Tribe people look exactly the same as the Southern Water Tribe characters, except fancier and with different-colored outfits! Besides, Katara and Sokka are only 1/4 descended from the Northern Water Tribe. The rest of them are Southern Water tribe. So that argument is moot. Katara and Sokka should be played by people of color.

Another argument: But what about the Air Nomads then? They're traveling people - it makes sense that Aang is white, because the Air Nomads are multiracial.

NO. The Air Nomads are all Airbenders, which means that the gene pool is not diverse. All Air Nomads look like Buddhist and Shaolin monks, and none of them are black, Hispanic, Latino, Indian, or Caucasian. In a world that's specifically based on Asian culture, those races don't exist (...with the exception of Guru Pathik, who is obviously based off of Hindu gurus.)

What with the Fire Nation being based off of China and Japan, it makes no sense to have them be Indian or Middle Eastern in the movie. Plus, it reinforces the negative stereotype that good guys = white and bad guys = dark. Plus-plus, it also brings to mind another real-world conflict that is happening RIGHT NOW.



And casting a bunch of ethnic extras is even stupider, reinforcing the glass ceiling that Hollywood has upheld since the beginning of cinema. It does not excuse the lack of diversity coming from the main heroes, and it does not make up for screwing up the world of the canon - which is a sin in adaptation terms. You do not mess with the canon.

But unfortunately, they weren't afraid to take "artistic license" with the rest of the movie.

So basically in conclusion, in a show that is pretty much WORD OF GOD based off of Asian and Inuit culture and mythology, it makes no sense for M. Night Shyamalan (WHO DID DO THE CASTING FOR THE LEADS, BTW) to cast a bunch of white kids to play the leads. By the way, guess who was originally supposed to play Prince Zuko? Jesse McCartney.

Yeah. I know.

What makes it even more stupid is the fact that Shyamalan reportedly discovered Avatar due to the fact that his daughter wanted to be Katara for Halloween. Imagine being his daughter, a girl of color, who probably has never seen a female protagonist that looked like her in mainstream media. Imagine how excited she must have felt when she realized that Katara was a strong female lead who looked just like her.

How in Hell's name could Shyamalan do this?

Image credits go to Racebending.com, AvatarSpirit.net, Atanajuat, and this place

Monday, August 23, 2010

AT LAST THE RANT OF THE YEAR OMFG


YES.

I AM GOING TO DO IT NOW.

OR LATER.

NO, WAIT, DEFINITELY NOW.

THE RANT OF THE YEAR.

THE RANT... ABOUT M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN'S LATEST TRAVESTY... THE LAST AIRBENDER.

DUN DUN DUUUNNNNNN.

Let me start off by saying that NICKELODEON'S "AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER" IS FRIKKING AMAZING. IN ONE WORD, AWESOMESAUCE. AS IN AWESOME WITH THE SAUCE.

Yes, I am a fan why do you ask. ;P

THIS SHOW HAS EVERYTHING I LOOK FOR IN A CARTOON. EVERYTHING. Okay, maybe it was a bit watered down, but considering its target age group, that's not a bad thing. I MEAN COME ON. IT'S AVATAR, MAN.

So let me give some backstory to people who may stumble upon this blog and not have a clue as to what I'm talking about. And - oh, BTW, expect a video-version of this on my new Youtube page (search TheLinneaKou) hopefully before Thanksgiving. I'm going to try and avoid the copyright gods from coming down on my ass, and instead of using footage from the movie and show like I was intending (unless I can find a videohosting site that won't rat me out to Paramount and Nick - even though I'd credit every person who worked on the stuff) I'm going to pretty much hand-draw every single image in the video.

Ooooh boy this is gonna be fun.

ANYHOODLE. (lol look there's my ADD kicking in thar hyuck)

SO. Avatar the Last Airbender did not magickally fall from the gods in heaven, as much as I claim it has (even I know its true origins!) A:TLA was created in 2002 by the creative team Bryan Konietzko and Mike Dante DiMartino, in response to a request for a cartoon that came by way of Nickelodeon Executive Producer Eric Coleman. (Shamelessly yoinked from the A:TLA series artbook, courtesy of Dark Horse and my local Borders - GO BUY IT IT'S LIKE THE BEST THIRTY BUCKS YOU COULD SPEND) Nick at the time was looking for a fantasy show that would appeal to kids who were getting bombarded with epic fantasy works such as Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings (aw shucks, no Twilight then. Those were the days...) Their requirements? A kid-friendly entry point (in other words, a character that was either a kid or a nonhuman lead) along with an action/adventure type story that didn't include violence (gotta keep the age-appropriate programming up, dudes) that also had lots and lots of magic. Bryan and Mike (or Bryke, as we Avatards like to call them) did a lot of brainstorming, and eventually Bryan came up with a sketch of a bald kid with an arrow on his head. They worked in their love of martial arts, yoga, Hong Kong cinema, and Hayao Miyazaki films to create the pitch for A:TLA. And three years later, Avatar premiered on Nick and got noticed instantly. To say that the show was a hit would be an understatement. To some (especially anime-geeks like myself) this show was a phenomenon.

Basically, Avatar is the story of a twelve-year-old kid named Aang (generally pronounced AE-ng, with an American-sounding nasal "a") who is the last of the Air Nomads, one of the four nations of the Avatar world. He is joined by Water Tribe siblings Katara and Sokka (pronounced sock-ah in the show) in his quest to restore balance to the world. Why is a twelve-year-old kid responsible for the entire world, you ask? Well, not only is he the last Airbender (a martial artist who can manipulate one of the four cardinal elements) but he is the mystical Avatar, a being that is born into each of the four nations throughout a cycle of lifetimes that can bend all four elements, not just that of his or her birth. Aang was born over a hundred years before the story's beginning, and he was accidentally frozen and trapped in an iceberg that ended up at the South Pole, where the Southern Water Tribe lived. Katara and Sokka, members of that tribe, found and freed him. In the hundred years that Aang was gone, the Fire Nation started a war against the rest of the world, wiping out the Air Nomads, occupying and colonizing the vast Earth Kingdom, and oppressing the Water Tribes. Aang must now master the other three elements and avoid being captured or killed by his pursuers from Fire Nation - one of whom is the disgraced and banished Prince Zuko, who must capture the Avatar in order to regain his honor and be allowed to return home.

Whew. Quite a concept there, eh? Well, let me just sing my praises of the series just a little bit longer, and then I'll get to my real reason for picking up the blog again.

A:TLA is one of the most beautiful American cartoons I've ever seen, beating out Danny Phantom, Ben 10, and any Spider-Man cartoons that I worshiped before. I'm serious, for a year I was totally obsessed with those cartoons. I still am, but Avatar takes priority on my "STUFF I MUST HAVE OMG" list. Now, being a self-designated "cartoon connoisseur" as I am, I view this show with the eyes of a seasoned cartoon-watcher, anime-geek, artist, and general geek. Let me say, I was impressed within seconds.

For one thing, the animation is gorgeous. The series, while produced, dubbed, music-ed, and designed in Burbank, CA, was animated across the big pond in South Korea, by several studios (Tin House being the one that they went to for the pilot, along with JM Animation, DR Movie, and Moi Animation). For all the justified hype over Japanese animation, the Koreans are just as stylish and reliable. The animation from the Korean studios was quite nearly flawless and as smooth as glass. If I ever get any of my works animated, I'm going to Korea first. (That, and I want to do a noraebang [karaoke] night, but yeah...)

For another thing, HOLY SHIT THIS STORY TAKES PLACE IN ASIA! Well, not really. I'd be hard pressed to find some of the stuff in the series in real-life China, Japan, and Korea. But still, Bryan and Mike were definitely influenced by Asian and Inuit cultures, and their love and respect for those cultures show. They hired multiple cultural consultants, such as a martial artist (Sifu Kisu!!), a calligrapher who did ALL the written Chinese calligraphy used in the show (S. L. Lee!!), and many more. Their attention to detail was amazing, and made for an even more awe-inspiring experience.

Next, the characters! Never have I seen a lead character that I wanted to hug more badly. I mean, Aang is awesome and all, but awwww~!! I just adore him, he's so huggable and funny and sweet and stuff! Oh, but the other characters of the show were just as awesome as him! Katara, one of the female leads, was totally badass and kickass, and yet motherly and sweet and feminine all at once - the perfect role model for girls! Sokka was a fantastic character as well, being much more than the self-described "meat and sarcasm guy" - not only did he provide a much-needed comic relief character (see the cactus juice scene) but he was also the brains and big-picture guy, and the very-necessary normal dude of the bunch (he's the only non-bender of the core cast up until the final few episodes of the series). Toph, who appears in the second season as Aang's earthbending teacher, is the perfect foil to Katara's feminine charms - a brash, loudmouthed, bad-mannered tough girl who gave up a rich and cushy life to travel the world and do whatever she wants. Despite her tough-girl role in the group, she also has an emotional side that, when expressed (however rare) never fails to make me want to pat her on the shoulder (if I tried hugging her or patting her head, I'm fairly certain she'd sock me). The Fire Nation gets a great cast, too! For the first season, our primary antagonists include the aforementioned banished Prince Zuko, firstborn heir to the Fire Nation throne. Disgraced publicly by his power-hungry father and pretty much kicked out of the only home he's ever known, Zuko has become bitter and harsh, but deep within him he is constantly at war with himself, for his true nature is to be not destructive and tyrannical, but fair and forgiving. Along for the ride is his jovial uncle Iroh, former general and retired old dude who just happens to be awesome. Voiced by the late Mako (RIP) he gives Zuko mentorship in more than his firebending - he provides a mature voice of reason and wisdom, acting as a more fatherly figure to Zuko than his own dad.

But it doesn't stop there! The real bad guys of the series are still to come! Commander - and later, Admiral - Zhao is pretty much the sleazy politician everyone thinks of when they think of politics. Zhao is the embodiment of political ambition, and he's not afraid to do whatever it takes to get what he wants - even if it means throwing the entire world out of balance (literally!). Princess Azula, Zuko's younger sister, appears as the second season's primary antagonist. Completely opposite of her brother, she is cold, calculating, and an absolute prodigy in firebending. I hated her at some times, which basically means she is one of my favorite villains EVER. She was such a psychological trip, I adored her. (That, and Yamino's TyZula stuff on deviantART feeds my psychotic lesbian addiction...) But the biggest baddie of them all, the Fire Lord, is probably one of the best villains EVER. Concealed until the very last moment, he's just as bad as everyone feared. He's lost all and any traces of true humanity during his climb to power, and now he's willing to massacre the world in order to rule it. DUDE. He's worse than Voldemort, and that's hard to do! At least, according to me. Ask Cracked.com, though, and you might get a different answer...

Okay, back to the show in general. The story was very very VERY well-developed, and while the filler episodes were there, and totally fillerlicious, they still added to the story in a vital way. Sometimes, nonessential sidestories and plots are even more essential to the overall plot than the core story is! Adding depth to the characters both good and bad, the fluff factor of A:TLA created a rich and vibrant world that I escaped to for hours on end.

Now, there's tons of other things that I love about this show - the music, the style, the overall message of the series - but I am of the staunch belief that one must experience such things for themselves, as they cannot be conveyed by mere words. So this three-season cartoon series has the "LII'S GO OUT AND BUY IT NOW" stamp of approval. It's entirely worth time and money spent on it, and it gives Nick an incentive to work on the next installment, Avatar: Legend of Korra (I just squee'd right now).

Now, on the eve of the third season's premiere, it was announced that M. Night Shyamalan, famed visionary responsible for bringing us "the Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable", had gotten hooked into the series by way of his daughters. Shyamalan was so enamored of the series that he pitched a live-action film adaptation. So in 2007, it was announced that Avatar would be hitting the silver screen sometime in 2010.

Well... it happened.

The initial announcement was met with both negative and positive responses. Upon the show's end, many fans expressed a wish for an animated original movie (in anime terms, and OVA/OAV) and others flat-out said "NO. NO LIVE-ACTION. NO." Yet more fans met the news with a reaction such as this: "OMG AVATAR'S FINALLY GETTING THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES YAAAAAAY!!!" If Shyamalan really was as big a fan as he claimed, and considering his ability to make a relatively good film (in several opinions that I've heard, he's been in a decline since Lady in the Water) how bad could this movie possibly be?

...

In a word, HORRIBLE.

So basically, I'm going to give you a multi-part rant on why the movie pissed me off so. I'm going to give you a blow-by-blow critique on The Last Airbender, and I'm not going to mince words. I am capable of critiquing films, especially due to the fact that I have both filmmaking and visual art in my background. I may not be a professional, but even I can tell if a movie sucks.

This movie angered and saddened me. I didn't think it was possible to make Avatar look bad. But I was proven wrong.

So basically, the upcoming rants should look a little something like this:

Issue the first: the Racebending. I am a supporter of the Racebending.com movement, and this issue is fairly big with me.

Issue the second: the merit of the cast and the interpretation of the characters. This is also a biggie.

Issue the third: the overall writing, pacing, and editing of the film.

Issue the fourth: messing with the canon. As in the story, the plot, and the established world - i.e. the bending, mythology, and other stuff like that.

Issue the fifth: the nuts and bolts - the sets, the CGI, the visual aspect of it. Because I'm an artist, and I look for this sort of thing.

Expect a crapton of me comparing the show to the movie, and expressing the movie's failitude MULTIPLE TIMES, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Consider this my therapy for watching this awful movie, sort of like squeezing a zit (ew) or ripping a bandaid off (ouch) - either way, it's got to be done. And I've put it off long enough.

Let's get this show on the road.